Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Neva neva gonna get it, my lovin'

Via Jessica @ Feministing (and click the links in her story for more goodness).

I ignored the first article by Dennis Prager cause he's a douche and I know it. I try to ignore everything he says, but this is too much.
"Why would a loving, wise woman allow mood to determine whether or not she will give her husband one of the most important expressions of love [sex] she can show him? What else in life, of such significance, do we allow to be governed by mood?"
Sex=/=relationship. Men keep trying to force this idea into the minds of women they want to fuck. But suddenly, when it's within their agenda to reverse this idea, suddenly all there is to a relationship is sex.

Further, what else in life do we allow to be governed by mood? Well, eating. "What are you in the mood for?" Sleeping. "I'm tired but I don't feel like going to sleep yet." or "I'm in the mood for a nap." Gee, eating, sleeping, and fucking... all governed by mood. You might, by this, come to the conclusion that everything that humans do is, to at least some extent, governed by their emotions because humans are emotional creatures. Ya jackass.

My question to Mr. Prager is, why would a loving, wise man want to force his wife to have sex with him when she doesn't want to? For what else in life, that is so important to a relationship, is it enjoyable to force someone to do something they don't want to do? Sex is supposed to be fun for both partners, not just the man. Contrary to what you might think, Denny, it's a lot easier to get a woman to have sex with you if you respect her and don't force her to have sex when she doesn't want to.

I can't but comment on this gem, too:
"What if your husband woke up one day and announced that he was not in the mood to go to work?"
It's your job bitch. There's so many things in this one sentence that I have a problem with. First of all, Prager is one of these douchebags who gets all huffy about prostitution, and will try to exorcise anyone who even casually compares prostution to marriage. However, if it is my job to have sex, that makes me a sex worker, not a wife (although, for clarity's sake, I am neither). Secondly, if my hypotheitical husband announced that he wasn't in the mood to go to work, I would say "good, you can help me with the housework", or "good, you can finish painting the guest room", or even "fine, just stay out of my way I've got shit to do".

Finally, you're behind on your payment plan. We live in a capitalist society (and make no mistake, Prager's one of these neoliberal Reaganomics are from God kinds of assholes), so if it's my "job" to provide unlimited sexual satisfaction to my male partner, whether I want to or not (ahem), I'm fucking getting paid for it. There has to be some incentive, and don't tell me that providing me with a place to live and protection from actual rape (cause I couldn't do either of those things on my own -- and you know this guy calls stranger-rape "actual rape", I hate people like that with the heat of a thousand white-hot-pointy suns), is payment enough for being raped by my intimate partner. It's not. If it's my "job", I'm gonna get paid for it.

Also, just a little addendum here, there's consent involved in work too. If my boss asks me to do something that I don't want to do, (like, I dunno, have sex with him), I can say no and not get fired, and then sue for sexual harassment. If my boss asks me to do something that is unsafe or in an unsafe manner, I can refuse or negotiate a safer way of doing it without getting fired. If my boss asks me to do something that I can't do at the present time because I'm busy with something else, I can say "how about tomorrow". If my boss asks me to keep working when I'm off the clock, I can tell him I have plans or just say "I'll do it first thing tomorrow". As far as I'm concerned, for a stay-at-home-mom, in bed is off the clock... oh yeah, and your husband isn't your boss.

3 comments:

The Dreaded Rhubarb said...

I wonder what he'd think about women pressuring reluctant husbands for sex? That men don't consciously control erections so can't perform to order? Actually as his whole theory of sexuality is that men always want it and women never do, this scenario hasn't occurred to him although it's probably just as common.

I bet Prager deeply disapproves of all forms of kink and BDSM but that's what his attitude to marriage reminds me of, one of those 24/7 master/slave things. It's interesting how perverted traditional relationships seem when you really think about them.

BamaG33K said...

>>There are marriages with the opposite problem — a wife who is frustrated and hurt because her husband is rarely in the mood. But, as important and as destructive as that problem is, it has different causes and different solutions, and is therefore not addressed here.<<

Rachel said...

"There are marriages with the opposite problem — a wife who is frustrated and hurt because her husband is rarely in the mood. But, as important and as destructive as that problem is, it has different causes and different solutions, and is therefore not addressed here."

And is therefore IRRELEVANT.