Monday, December 22, 2008

Snowed in.

Last night Dan Savage posted the image at left, providing final, difinitive proof that Seattle is completely unable to function when it snows. This image was taken outside of the Lusty Lady (the famous Seattle strip joint run by feminists, where the girls are protected from being molested, and paid a living wage). "No girls today. Sorry." They're all snowed in just like the rest of you poor motherfuckers. (Except, aparently, Dan Savage.)

This morning I made a valliant attempt to make to to work. I got up early. I put on three pairs of tights, giant socks (which I stole from Schmoogie), my snow boots, two hooded sweaters, a scarf, gloves, a hat, and my wool coat all to go stand at the bus stop for a fucking hour waiting. (And let us not forget that the ten inches of snow made it possible for me to nearly fall and break my face more than once on the way there.) According to the "snow schedule" (weekend schedule) on SoundTransit.org, the 511 (the bus I take to and from work every day) is supposed to have two busses per hour. There were no busses during the hour I waited at the bus stop in 28 degree weather, wearing 16 lbs of clothing and dancing around to keep myself relatively warm -- and for the record, the Spanx "high waisted panty" thing or whatever it's called, the one that sucks in all of your belly fat, really keeps the heat in; so fat shaming or no fat shaming, those things are fucking useful. No bus means no work.

I wanted to go to work today. I needed to go to work today. Now don't get me wrong, I like a day off here and there -- hell, days off, send me somewhere fancy! -- but after having spent much of the last 5 days couped up in the house, I'm going a little stir crazy. I love spending time with my dog and boyfriend, but 5 days locked in the house with Needy and Whiney is a little too much -- I'm sure if they had blogs I would get a cute nickname like Bitchy or something. I also enjoy going without a bra for a couple of days, being free from the almost relentless bonds of that patriarchal device which holds my boobies in place so they only jiggle in a visually pleasing manner when I run -- but this is fucking ridiculous!

Western Washington needs to learn to function when it snows. In the past it hasn't really snowed that much here, but since this is the... 6th snowfall of the year (including the freak one in April), we had better get used to the cold weather and snowfall and maybe think about reducing the incline of the hills in Seattle.

At least do it for the strippers!

3 comments:

VernettaSabryna said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Alena

www.smallbusinessavenues.com

Rachel said...

Well thanks. :)

SJ said...

Spanx ARE very warming. I am so glad the snow is melting!