Monday, January 5, 2009

*shakes head a la Lewis Black* WHAT?

Cosmo has an article about what resolutions should be avoided.
2. Lose five pounds.Reality check: Hot chicks like Jessica Biel, Beyoncé, and
ScarJo are proof that toned and curvy is the new skinny.

COSMO. As in Cosmopolitain Magazine is telling women to avoid a resolution to lose weight. Really. I'm pretty fucking shocked too. (I actually am planning to lose about 5 or so lbs that I've gained since Thanksgiving -- too much holiday food.)

Curvy is the new skinny. I don't know what that means. I do know that Jessica Biel, Beyonce, and Scarlet Johannsen are all impossibly thin and work their goddamn asses off (ha! literally!) to look like they do. Now, perhaps Cosmo is trying a new approach with women. An approach that says "you're beautiful the way you are, there's no reason you should be torturing yourself to lose that extra 5 lbs". But, despite how nice it sounds, coming from Cosmo it seems disingenuous. Although... considering the rest of the article

5. Change your man.Reality check: While some relationship tweaking is to be
expected (hey, few guys are natural-born good kissers), if the words
“fixer-upper” and “project” could describe your boyfriend, it’s time to get
7. Don’t eat any junk food.Reality check: Cutting out all unhealthy food
from your diet will most likely lead to binge eating, followed by intense guilt,
by mid-January.
10. Keep your number down.Reality check: Nothin’ wrong with notches on your
bedpost, as long as you’re being safe.

This isn't the kind of stuff Cosmo usually publishes. Either they're getting more feminist or I'm having another one of those schizophrenic hallucinations I never have because I do not have schizophrenia.

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