Friday (tattooed) Feminist Fuck You: Ms. Liz Jones

Oh yes, to be sure, "good girls don't get ink" is an old old OLD line. Those who further wanted to shame those of us who get tattoos came up with the term "tramp stamp" for those tattoos that skinny, slutty women overwhelmingly get on their lower backs.

I've even had my dragon called a "tramp stamp" because people who have never seen me in person (or are unable to understand what "high waisted" means) seem to think that that dragon in the middle of my back is in fact on my lower back.

Frankly, it's offensive.

But, as a loud, foul-mouthed, unabashedly sexual, heavily drinking, porn-loving liberal feminist, I'm pretty used to being told I'm not a "good girl". Pretty sure that most tattooed women are used to that kind of shit -- except, tattoos are becoming increasingly common, much to the shagrin of Ms. Liz Jones of the notoriously anti-woman Daily Mail. (Via.)

"They are a mark of temporary insanity, instantly turning the classiest, chicest woman into trailer trash. Not for nothing are they known as 'tramp stamps'."

Yes. A woman's physical appearance determines entirely their level of classiness. That's why there are no fat chicks at fancy parties for classy people. That's why people with tattoos don't have classy weddings. That's why blondes have more fun.

"Classy" and "chic" are traditionally words that apply to appearance because in the bad old days, before people decided it was okay to be themselves, you could tell the working-class from the upper-crust based on their clothing. Since the surge in middle class, however, it's become increasingly difficult to tell the working-class from the upper-crust, and "classy" has become a personality trait. A person's class, at least this side of the pond (the Daily Mail is based in the UK), is now determined based on how they treat others, whether they are heartless bitches who judge other women as "trailer trash" for having tattoos or not.

And about that "temporary insanity" bit? Sure, there are a lot of dumb people who decided on a whim to go get someone's name tattooed on their butt (which, based on the tenor of her piece, I'm reasonably certain that Ms. Liz Jones did once upon a time and now has a "faint, purplish shadow" where the name once resided). There are a lot of dumb people who get a lot of dumb tattoos. Of course, there are also a lot of really classy people, like my colleague Thea Wolfe, who have beautiful tattoos that were thought out and well executed. Make no mistake, not ever tattoo on every tattooed body has a story, but many of them do.

As a classless broad who swears and drinks beer, I can tell you that each of my tattoos does have a story and a meaning. I can tell you that I designed each of them, and taking a cue from Axel Rose of all people, waited at least a year after designing it before applying the image to my body. This is the way I get ink -- deliberately, with much thoughtfulness. Not everyone does it that way, but the ink on a person's body generally means something to them.

"What I hate most about all these celebrity tattoos is not just that they have spawned a rash of copycats the length and breadth of the nation, it is that tattoo wearers think that by writing on themselves, a la Angelina Jolie, they are somehow 'alternative', 'deep' and 'profound', that they have meaning in their lives."

First of all Ms. Liz Jones, your hate is only hurting you. Get over it you bitter cunt. (I'm sorry, I know that's a terribly thing to say, but I had to. Read the piece and you'll understand why.) Secondly, it's not only people with tattoos that like to pretended that they're "alternative", "deep", and "profound", and have "meaning in their lives" -- for example, religious zealots like to pretended that they are deep and profound and that GOD gives their lives meaning. They're just as poser-riffic as their tattooed brothers and sisters, except that they, like you, are all hoity-toity about it rather than just being dumb. Finally, maybe you shouldn't have gotten Mr. Wrong's name removed from your ass so that you might be able to convince yourself that your life has meaning.

I don't know whether it's fortunate or unfortunate, but those who are actually profound and deep, do tend to have tattoos, so it's no far stretch for those with tattoos to be able to convince the majority that all people with tattoos are deep and profound. That's not because the tattooed are delusional about their own deepness and profundity, (although many of them are), it's because the great majority of people in England and the US are remarkably easy to fool. Example, it's taken George W. Bush 7.5 years of his disastrous presidency to get his approval ratings down to 26%.

"Rather than being the mark of the outsider (or the ultimate insider, that of someone doing time in prison), tattoos show that you are desperate to belong."

I remember calling people "desperate to belong" in high school. I was a rebel, they were all sheep, copying me. It turns out, I was just as awkward as everyone else, determined to make a name for myself, just like everyone else. Turns out I wasn't much of a rebel then, and I've actually been offended at being called one now.

Rebellion is so passe -- just like being a judgmental bitch who thinks that tattooed people are more subject to group-think than any other large group of people. Man, un-inked people are all the same!