Sunday, March 1, 2009

Finally, a reason to be glad you're not an Oscar Meyer weiner

So, Barack Obama isn't the anti-Christ because he "isn't popular enough". That means only one thing: Oscar Meyer Weiners must be the anti-Christ. Think about it.

If I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with me.

There are only two positions where the love and adoration of all are expected and required: Oscar Meyer Weiner and anti-Christ. Is it not possible that the two could be one single, delicious sign of the End of Days? I mean, Dobson said that the anti-Christ would be a Jewish male. "Meyer" is a Jewish name -- and there certainly isn't anything more male than being a tube of meat and meat by-products. And we've all already been indoctrinated into believing that this tubed meat is not only delicious, but nutritious! How old were you when you learned the song of the anti-Christ? It's too late! Only the vegans, Kosher Jews, and Halal Muslims will survive unscathed!


Seriously though, this "end of the world" "anti-Christ" bullshit is getting really old. Every generation since the beginning of time has thought that it was the last. Get over yourselves. Really. And this guy does not need to be narrating a show about the end of the world. He shouldn't be on the teevee at all.

1 comment:

Dori said...

I always find it fascinating how so many people are sure that their generation is the very last one. I think (in my cynical little mind) that its because they are so self-absorbed and egotistical that they don't want to imagine a world without them in it or even worse, they can't. Either that or they are terrified of dying and they aren't sure that their afterlife is actually waiting for them, and instead of acknowledging their doubts and working with them, they cover them with assurances that something even crazier is going to happen.