*shudder*

This freaks me the fuck out.

Drug free's the way to be

So random musing:

Have you noticed that since the beginning of the "War on Drugs" there's be a rampant over-prescription of mind-altering drugs (depression meds, meds for ADD and ADHD, antibiotics even), that has been to such an extent there seems to be an epedemic of mental disorders in this country?

Is it just a coincidence or is there some meaning behind the "you shouldn't do drugs unless you're doing our drugs" message in the media?

And now for something completely different

My internet BFF Ren has a piece up today called Casual Brutality wherein she defends herself against agency-denying asshats who accuse her of not being able to recognize brutality because she likes rough sex (and ohmigod, actually sometimes gets paid to participate in it! Slut! Slut! WHOOOOORE!!!), the implied "truth" in these claims being that people who don't just have fluffy-bunny lesbian sex with thier unshaven life-partners are compeltely desensitized to every-day violence because they aren't overly sensitive to consensual violence (that's actually none of their damn business). K... what?

Before I go further, Ren is a human being; a woman with agency who happens to be employed in a manner that some people find... distasteful. She, however, does not. With her agency intact, her ability to give consent recognized by her industry (and codified in contract because her model release thingie says what she'll do and what she won't), that tells me that she knows the difference between rough sex and brutality -- also between consent and lack of. But, of course, I'm not the kind of person who judges others by their employment, but rather by their words. Because she is someone who is incredibly well-spoken and genuine (as difficult as that is on the internet), I have no qualms about taking Ren at her word.

So that's my defense. Now for my analysis of this "casual brutality" non sequitur.

First of all, who came up with this term? They ought to be locked in a classroom with 30 of the country's best English professors and forced to learn the definitions of words like "casual" and "brutatlity". There's no such thing as "casual brutality" because the act of being brutal in and of itself is emphatically not casual. Only sociopaths think that they can casually do something brutal. You don't casually kick a puppy until it yelps in pain, then continue kicking it until it bleeds, then toss it up in a tree so no one knows what happened to it. There's nothing casual about that act, and only someone with severe psychological deficits could construe it as such.

Now, this idea of "casual brutality" is not that which is mentioned above, but rather it is defined by the asshats who came up with it as, essentially, something that people might take part in for fun that others might find to be excessively violent. Like rough sex (consensual). Like violent video games (not real). Violent movies (also not real). Angry music (wtf?). And that participation or enjoyment of any and/or all of these things leads a person to be desensitized to things which are truly brutal like rape, actual street violence, actual war, or being screamed at/abused by a partner. The inherent flaw being the conflation of two things which are in no way the same.

Angry and/or rough sex, including BDSM, (whether for a hobby or profession), is not the same as rape -- why? Because consent is inherent. It's also not brutal because if you say "ow" (or use a safeword, or say/do something that is the signal to the Dom to stop because you're gonna freak out or are freaking out, whatever), the Dominant partner will stop. It's not even casually brutal because, at least in BDSM, the entire idea is to keep things safe and sane while exploring and expanding the bond between two people in a way that also explores and expands one (or both) partner's ability to withstand pain -- that's an over-simplification, of course, but the point remains, rough sex is not brutal no matter how far you take it.

Rough sex can become brutal if a safeword is called and no action is taken to heed it. I don't know how often that happens, but when it does, it becomes rape. But of course, how is someone who is so desensitized to "casual brutality" able to tell the difference between violence to which they have consented (rough sex) and that to which they have not (rape)? I mean, silly little women who engage in this sort of behavior can't tell the difference! That's preposterous!

And while we're at it, soldiers don't know the difference between being in theater and playing Halo 3. Chefs don't know the difference between cooking and watching the Food Network. And every boxer who has every lived also beat the crap out of everyone they ever knew.

You see the difference? I sure as fuckin' pancakes do. You cannot conflate actual brutality and actual violence with controlled environments where perceived brutality and perceived violence are just that: a perception. The true "casual brutality" is running around the internet making outlandish statements that deny a person's agency (and in some cases livelihood) because they are engaging in practices you find objectionable. So long as there's consent, there's no brutality. So long as there's consent, it's none of your damn business.

And don't fucking say that a person who enjoys perceived, consensual violence is desensitized to true brutality. That's fucking idiocy.

High-five, Ashlee

Ashlee Simpson criticized fat-shaming media after said media criticized size 2 Jessica Simpson for "easing up on her fitness regimen" and having a "decidedly fuller figure".

Ashlee said:

"Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? Now we can focus on the things that really matter."

Fuck. Yeah. And yes, current pictures of Jessica Simpson show her as being less gaunt, with full face and bigger tits (as if that was possible... heh). Sure, she may have gained a little weight. So what? Good for her sister for defending her, and defending young girls who are affected by the shaming of a size 2 figure.

Ah yes... the bad old days are here again

There's something about listening to Benny Goodman that makes a national/global depression slightly more bearable... I don't know why, but I think that we're in for another Swing/jazz revival, and it couldn't come at a better time. Play on brotha-man...

In other news, when people stop buying real estate, developers stop building, and architects stop designing. And receptionists at architecture firms are laid off. It is an inevitable truth that the receptionist is always one of the first to go when the economy contracts and squeezes a business. As a receptionist, I saw this coming. As someone who will not be doing reception for the rest of her life (even the rest of this year), I was able to come to terms with it right away and decide that it was time for me to jump with both feet into the world of being self-employed.

Because I was planning to have my Mary Kay business be my primary income while in law school (so that the Schmoogie wasn't wholly supporting me, something I cannot even fathom asking of him -- and to his credit, he insists I have some kind of income while in law school, which may seem callous, but it's really a good thing as it demonstrates how important my independence is to him), this is a good time for me to start growing my business and really getting rolling. I've got a plan in place, I'm excited, and basically, if all goes to plan I'll be working slightly less (more time to volunteer), and making about the same amount of money.

I'll also be listening to Benny Goodman. You should too.

"Or as I like to call it, the Raging Hadron Collider"

This is a public service announcement: If you're making dick jokes while watching a History channel program about stars, black holes (heh heh), and particle colliders -- it's been too long since you've had sex.

Sunday Morning Thankfulness

I'm so thankful to have a feminist in the Whitehouse.

"It is time that we end the politicization of this issue. In the coming weeks, my Administration will initiate a fresh conversation on family planning, working to find areas of common ground to best meet the needs of women and families at home and around the world.

I have directed my staff to reach out to those on all sides of this issue to achieve the goal of reducing unintended pregnancies. They will also work to promote safe motherhood, reduce maternal and infant mortality rates and increase educational and economic opportunities for women and girls."

From Whitehouse.gov.

President Obama's first weekly address

Contemporary Art 1: Propaganda and Art

Last year Shepard Fairey (formerly known as "the Obey Giant guy") went from Art Star to well... "that Obama poster guy", and people who more-or-less understood his work (but not necessarily the impact or context in which it functioned) argued about the merits of it. Art or propaganda? Establishing, for some reason, that the two are mutually exclusive.

There are a lot of artists whose work functions dually on this level. Fairey is joined by anonymous street artists like Banksy, and the kids who have nothing better to do than to scale buildings and bridges in search of the next tag. This is the next wave of contemporary art. Street art has taken on a life of its own wholly separated from fine art, and recognized by few, if any, in the art establishment.

It's just that, those contemporary artists whom many of us look up to started as street artists (and those such as Banksy continue solely in that vein). And yet, most street art is considered "dirty", it's called "graffiti" and removed or covered up because of some societal morality that states that art does not belong on the street, but behind glass, a safe distance from those who might find it offensive.

Even still, your average museum or gallery will not host works that it finds controversial, so artists are left with two choices:

• Start your own gallery -- this costs and obscene amount of money, and most artists, (despite the common convention that only artists who have money will make money), do not have obscene amounts of money.
• Make it on the street.

Street art, unlike gallery art is cheap, but it's also fleeting because more often than not, it's going to be removed or covered up, although, you might still see an ObeyGiant sticker here and there, or stencils of the Year Zero flag on sidewalks. Interesting enough, but the ObeyGiant stickets as well as the Year Zero "Art is Resistance" flag were propaganda devices.

prop⋅a⋅gan⋅da –noun
1. information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement, institution, nation, etc.
2. the deliberate spreading of such information, rumors, etc.
3. the particular doctrines or principles propagated by an organization or movement.

By this definition, pretty much everything is propaganda, but most people don't operate from this definition when they're talking about something being "mindless propaganda" or how it's illegal for the US government to "propgandize" to the people (although, make no mistakes, it is legal for the US government to propagandize to the people of other countries... don't know why). But let's consider the dictionary definition, since we're talking about art (we'll consider the political definition in "Contemporary Art 2: The Political is Personal").

Street art, by its viral nature and distinctive style is, in a manner of speaking, propaganda. Taggers use a spray can to say "I was here". Street artists, similarly, plop down a stencil or sticker in order to further enforce the idea contained in their work. For instance, in 2006, you couldn't go anywhere in Seattle without seeing The Bald Man and being told that he was watching you. (In the image at left, you can also see the remains of the compeltely unrelated ObeyGiant.)

"What does it mean?" I once asked one of the artists responsible for The Bald Man.

"To remember that you're being watched," was essentially the response. In 2006, remember, news was just coming out about the Bush Administration's warrantless wiretap program (and we found out today that everything was being monitored all the time), so it was a just reminder from a couple of street artists mounting a campaign that spread through Seattle and much of Washington State.

Evocative of nothing less than the Big Brother posters that we read about in 1984 (and saw if you watched the movie), you really do get a sense that The Bald Man campaign was intentionally propagandistic. But aside from the relics of the early half of the 20th century, most propaganda is created and promoted through art and artists on the street -- and most of it is as a reminder of what propaganda has been used for in the past.

There are more endemic forms of propaganda (although, most people call it advertising or FoxNews), that are intended to get viewers to hold a particular thought like "I like soda" or "I should be thinner" or "Dick Cheney really was right about WMD", and these forms are meant to benefit the propogator. Art as propaganda is meant to benefit the viewer, and that's the real difference between the two; or, for the sake of this discussion, the difference between advertising and propagandistic art.

Obama's statement on Roe v Wade

Good. He heard me.

"On the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we are reminded that this decision not only protects women’s health and reproductive freedom, but stands for a broader principle: that government should not intrude on our most private family matters. I remain committed to protecting a woman’s right to choose.

While this is a sensitive and often divisive issue, no matter what our views, we are united in our determination to prevent unintended pregnancies, reduce the need for abortion, and support women and families in the choices they make. To accomplish these goals, we must work to find common ground to expand access to affordable contraception, accurate health information, and preventative services.

On this anniversary, we must also recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights and opportunities as our sons: the chance to attain a world-class education; to have fulfilling careers in any industry; to be treated fairly and paid equally for their work; and to have no limits on their dreams. That is what I want for women everywhere."

via Broadsheet.

The 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and the future we were promised

My friend Tom Brislin (of the NJ band Spiraling) wrote a song called "The Future", wherein he laments that "this is not the future we were promised/this is not the future we were counting on", and while I can't speak directly to whether he's getting political with this song (he's got a history of writing songs that sound political, but really aren't), I really feel like "The Future" has been the theme song for the last decade. So as I Blog for Choice for the very first time, I want to consider the future we were promised and how we can make that a reality, thereby relegating my friend Tom's song to being a mere relic of the Bush Administration.

The theme for this year's Blog for Choice is "What is your top pro-choice hope for President Obama and/or the new Congress?" and what I want probably isn't all that different from what most pro-choice feminists want: preserve our right to choose when and whether we will have children; encourage birth control and the use of condoms in developing parts of the world, especially where HIV and AIDS are rampant; end sexual slavery; end or at least reduce federal funding of ineffective ideologically driven (rather than fact driven) abstinence-only education; end the ability for health care providers to refuse to give women and girls Plan B, or even birth control pills; and stop conflating my right to choose when and whether to have a child with the right for a health care provider to choose to refuse me that right. In America, you don't have the right to refuse someone the ability to exercise their rights. Or at least, in any other arena no one has that right.

As it stands now, and for some reason people like to argue with me on this one, women do not have complete medical sovereignty over their bodies. This is a fact. Whenever there is legislation telling me what I can and cannot do with my body, I am denied sovereignty over it. Where women are forced to have the consent of their husbands, fathers, or the random guy they fucked one night and the condom broke, in order to have an abortion: those women's choices are limited, and their sovereignty denied. This isn't an article of my "world view" here, it's a fucking fact. If someone tells me, an adult, that I cannot do something without the permission of a man who is not my doctor, my rights are being abridged.

There's this bullshit about parental notification too. I know that a lot of people, including my beloved mother, think that parental notification is a good thing. But I don't. I don't think it's a good thing for legislatures to force children to tell their parents things, not in the least because it, rather than protecting the rights of good parents, unjustly rewards bad parents. If I had gotten pregnant as a teenager, I would have told my mom, law or no law, because she had raised me in an environment where I knew I was safe. I would not have told my father because I knew that I would not be safe doing so -- but Washington State law would demand it. Some people argue that teenagers are children, and as children they don't have any rights, but that's bullshit too. Others still argue that you need parental permission for all medical procedures, so why should an abortion be any different?

Abortion is different because women get killed for having sex out of wedlock. Women get killed for getting pregnant out of wedlock. And I know people are going to tell me that doesn't happen in America, but I guarantee you that it does. Just because they don't talk about it on the news, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

What I find so much more insideous are these spousal notification laws, which essentially say that a woman is the property of the man who impregnated her and if he doesn't consent to the termination of that pregnancy, she has no agency, no sovereignty, and cannot have the procedure. Blatant sexism. Women aren't wombs with legs, we're human beings with rights and in the words of the late George Carlin, if you think the rights of a fetus are more important than the rights of woman, you try to get a fetus to scrub the shit stains out of your underwear for 25 years without complaining about it.

My hope for the pro-choice proirities of the Obama administration and 112th congress is that their priorities actually be pro-choice. It is possible to lower the abortion rate while making sure that women and girls have their rights intact and recognized -- Bill Clinton did it. It is my hope that President Obama will look at his girls and decide that they own their bodies, not him, not their future husbands (if they are heterosexual and marry), but their own. We need to end this archaic tradition wherein women don't have a say over what happens within them; we need to end the tradtion of women as property and "walking wombs", so that we can tell other parts of the world to knock it off too.

My hope is that in the next 4 (read 8) years, the whole world becomes more pro-choice, pro-woman, pro-child, and pro-family. You can't be pro-child and pro-family when you refuse funding for low-income women to get prenatal care. You can't be pro-woman when you refuse a woman sovereignty and agency over her body. You can't be pro-family when you refuse to allow some kind of funding for childcare so that mothers can work and, instead of having all of their money going to childcare, actually being able to save money for their kids' college, or some kind of rainy day fund -- or birthdays, groceries, and rent.

This starts with making it absolutely clear that there MUST be equality in the health care system. And while a lot of conservatives will prattle on about "on-demand abortions" (and we can't even get on-demand fillings for god's sake!), when women have the same rights as men to insist they have a valid medical procedure done without any interference from someone who isn't a doctor advising them in the same manner they would for a root canal, we'll have reached another step toward equality.

The next thing is making sure that women who want children can take care of those children. And that those children have health care, education, food, clothing, a home, toys, and emotional security. The future we were promised, with all of its glittering hope, begins with parents being able to take care of their children and foster growth and integrity.

Maybe in a world where every child is a wanted child, we will have our jetpacks and flying cars.

I don't know if it's really sunk in yet...

FORMER President Bush.

Feels so good to say. Go on, say it. FORMER President Bush.

Want.

Chia Obama Handmade Decorative Planter

Some of the reviews:

"Amazon.com has once again surprised me with one of their products; The Chia Obama Planter. To merely call the "Chia Obama," which grows an afro, tasteless, would be a gross understatement. I would think after the Obama Halloween Mask problem that Amazon.com had in Oct. '08, they'd be more prudent in choosing what products they will offer on their site. Once a company that I, both, enjoyed and admired, I'm very disappointed that Amazon.com has chosen to peddle cheap and vulgar garbage."

It matters not to this person that, a) Amazon.com does not make the stuff that is sold on its website (this one is made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc) by vendors, and b) this is actually kinda funny. I'm unaware of the "Obama Halloween Mask problem".

"Regardless of being a caucasion man writing this review, I maintain that this product is racist, tasteless and insist that it be taken out of inventory by Amazon.com. A twisted effigy of our 44th President that, when seeded and watered, grows an organic afro? Horrible. This is a product that, if marketed at all, should be urged toward it's only possible consumer demographic: Angry, rural, conservative, cryptoracist Sarah Palin voters. Please remove this product from your inventory."

"A twisted effigy"? Are you supposed to burn Chia pets now?

The Schmoogie said, "Whatever. If someone made a Chia pet of me, I'd buy it. ...it'd have to be a full-body Chia pet..." and asserted that Obama would probably laugh at it. But look at the history of the Chia pet: you have the Chia Garfield, beloved pasta-eating cat; Chia Scooby-Doo, beloved sandwich-eating coward; Chia Buggs Bunny, the cleverest, most imitated cartoon character in history. And now, the Chia Barack Obama. Was the Chia Garfield made to mock people who like cats? Or to mock Italians? No. It was made because it would sell.

Chia is all about kitsch. For those unfamiliar with the 50s era art term, "kitsch" describes something which is adorably stupid, that makes you cringe and laugh at the same time. That's all this is. No insult is meant. No racism is present (for the record both the Chia Scooby-Doo and the Chia Buggs Bunny also grow alfalfa-spout afros, and I'm pretty sure the Chia John McCain would too -- the Chia George Bush would grow alfalfa-spout Gitmo electrodes out its ears, though). It's funny and stupid, and I want it. If that makes me a racist... that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Sunday Morning Thankfulness

Wow... it's totally not morning anymore. Heh.

When I was 5 my mom gave a child up for adoption. She did this because she was a single mother, recently divorced, and my father had just remarried and was having a child with his new wife. She didn't think it would be fair to either of her children if she tried to raise an infant and a 5-year-old under those conditions. I know she has other reasons, but those are the ones she's talked to me about.

Over the past 18 years, every once in a while she would wonder what Michelle's life was like. We'd talk about her, and were sure that she was in good hands; she was sure she made the right decision, and always hoped that when Michelle turned 18, she would come find us. She is now 18, (although, her adoptive parents renamed her), and my mom occasionally did a search for her on Myspace.

This week: results.

She sent a friend request to a girl in Oklahoma saying "you remind me so much of my youth".

The girl replied "Did your name used to be [my mom's name when she signed the adoption papers]? My biological mother lives in Washington State and I've always wanted to meet her." Evidence was exchanged, and all parties were sure that this reuinion was true.

It's kind of amazing, really. A social networking website has made our family whole again. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. This is not to say that the siblings I grew up with (my father's children) are any less valuable, but my heart is so much fuller now that my mom and I have been reuinted with my long-lost half-sister.

And it's all because of Myspace. Thank you Myspace. On behalf of myself, my mom, and my sister.

May the lord bless and keep George W. Bush... far away from US!

Today is the last Beer Friday of the Bush Administration, and for that I would like to offer up the above toast. However...



I cannot wait to celebrate Barack Obama's inauguration. I'm elated. I worked so hard, as so many people did -- I yelled and screamed, I prayed, I paid, sweat, swore, bled, and could not disconnect myself from the internet long enough to actually have a life that wasn't completely connected to news media. On election day I spent 6 hours walking around Everett neighborhoods with my dog, making sure that people were voting for Barack, but also supporting other Democrats in Washington, like Governor Gregoire. As Will.i.am says above, we weren't fightin' for nothin'.

I was 15 when George W. Bush was appointed president (which is the correct term since after the confusion over Florida's votes, George W. Bush sued to have them stop the vote-count there, and while the Florida supreme court said "no, count the votes", the US Supreme Court said "don't you dare", and stopped the vote count, thereby instering itself into the process and appointing Bush president.) George W. Bush has been president all of my adult life. I campaigned and called and canvassed for Kerry in 2004, but maybe not hard enough?

And for the last 8 years I have protested, rallied, railed, made "shave your Bush for democracy" posters, promoted liberal/progresive talk radio, listened, thought, read, and done everything I could to make sure that I was fighting back against the war, the re-instatement of the Global Gag Rule, the ban on stem cell research, proposed bans on same-sex marriage, more war, more death. I cried so often... when Huricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, killing somewhere around 2,000 people, and Bush was eating cake with John McCain. When Israel attacked Lebanon (something that we didn't cause, but certainly acquiesced to), and killed all of those people, and Bush stood impotently by not wanting to interfere with the Second Coming of Christ. When bin Laden was surrounded on three sides in Tora Bora, and somehow he magically slipped passed us. Video after video. Security alert after security alert. Presidential address after presidential address. Gaff after gaff. Dick Cheney lurking in the shadows of trees on the White House lawn. Bush being the "commander guy".

My entire adult life I have been fighting against this man and his world view. His perception of the way things ought to be: black and white. You end terrorism by killing terrorists. Getting rid mushrooms by pulling off the heads and stomping on the stems, nevermind that there's a whole network under the ground, and you don't get rid of a fungal infection by just killing the fungus: you have to replace it with something good or something bad will grow back.

And now, well, it's a new day. The world didn't end under Bush's watch, but it's sure hanging on by a thread. As we join hands in the next several months though, we can bridge the gaps of inequality and injustice, and bring the world back... maybe even make some progress. We can reduce unwanted pregnancies. We can reduce terrorism at home and abroad. We can provide new opportunities not just for ourselves and our children here in the US, but elsewhere in the world. We can form new friendships with people who had disagreed with us before and come to an understanding that, while we may not always agree, we can still be friends.

Barack Obama is a symbol, to me at least, that the world is not evil. George W. Bush, while not evil himself (and I do believe him when he said he thought he was doing right by us -- he just lacked the forsight and intellectual curiosity to be able to predict the outcomes), wanted us to believe that the world is full of evil. That may be, but when you operate under the assumption that everyone is out to get you, you miss opportunities to forge new friendships, to better yourself and help to better others. So while Bush wanted to "fight the evildoers", Obama wants to talk to the friends of these so-called evil-doers and see if they can help us bring these people to justice.

Not good and evil. Justice. Not black and white. Justice. It's important to see nuance. It's important to be able to tell the difference between someone who is actively trying to hurt you and someone who is letting the injustice happen; that person will be more likely to actively try to hurt you if they liked the old villain, and disapproved of how you handle them. By accepting huge numbers of "collateral damage" deaths, we create more terrorists than we kill.

By accepting that private industry can do the government's job, we say that it's okay to have two classes of Americans: those who can afford the cost of industry, and those who must rely on the defunded public sector; that it's okay that a kid whose parents have money gets an education, while the kid whose parents are poor does not. However, in this new day, my success and achievement does not come at your detriment.

I don't wish George W. Bush any ill, but I won't miss him. Neither will 70% of the country. Nor, I'm guessing, will most of the rest of the world. Sorry George, but you failed at being President too. Don't let the shoe hit you on your way out.

Mmmm... abortion [drool]

Krispy Kreme offers one donut "of choice" per customer to celebrate the inauguration of Barack Obama.

Hilarity ensues.

Update: hard drive failure

Catastrophic. Nothing could be recovered for less than $500, and there was nothing on my hard drive that was worth more than $500. Many important images are online or on the Schmoogie's computer, if not on the external HD but I hadn't backed up my files since... last summer.

I have learned a very valuable lesson: BACK UP YOUR STUFF. Having never had a hard drive fail, I didn't realize just how important this is. I'm lucky, however, because I have a website and a compulsion to share cute pictures of myself, my dog, and my boyfriend with people on the Myspace.

Anyway, after all of that, I just wanted to thank the guys at Progressive Tech for their help with this disaster by giving them a plug on my blog. If you ever have computer problems and are in the Seattle area, go to them, they'll help you out.

In the end I was only out $140, I got a new hard drive that is twice the size of my old fail drive, and while I lost some fun stuff (the un-compressed, non-jpg versions of the Pharmzilla ads, for instance), there may come a day when data recovery isn't so fucking expensive. I'll be able to get all my programs back since most of them were free to begin with (Sonic Stage, OpenOffice.org, Chips Challenge), and as soon as I've gotten things back kind of to where they should be, I'll back up again to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Of course, what I'm most upset by is the fact that I lost study time running around Seattle on the bus and spending 3-and-a-half hours installing and updating Vista. (Shut it, I like Vista.)

The moral of the story is: back up your data. And if your lap top even grunts at you in that cement-mixer kind of way, turn it off immediately.

It's Failedsday!

I'm still suffering from the Satanic Uber Cold. This morning I got up and as I was trying to clear my throat, I ended up sounding like a cement mixer that says "ew" every 20 or 30 seconds. Massively gross. Did I mention the huge bags under my eyes? And not new-purse bags either. These are 20-year-old hiking backpack eye bags. Niiice.

Fail.

Then I turn on my computer to get my Stephcast (only $4.95 a month if you buy a year at a time), and my computer is making the SAME GODDAMN NOISE.

Yay, hard drive fail! Happy Failedsday!

Get on the bus, wanna barf the whole way. 45 minutes of over-heated and nauseus. I have the window open above my seat, but some jackass decides that I'm not allowed to have the comfort of cool air, and closes it.

Fail.

When I get to work and go to make my English-muffin breakfast, the little plastic thingie that ties the bag closed breaks as I'm trying to put it back on. Fail. "What next?" I mutter.

Well, I then almost dropped my headphones in Emerge-n-C. I'm thinking it would be a bad idea for me to cook tonight because I might burn the goddamn house down.

Happy Failedsday everybody!

Virgin/Whore dictotomy in the media

No doubt you've heard about the 22-year-old woman selling her virginity to the highest bidder in order to pay for college. And, if you read any of the blogs that I do, you've also heard of Michigan 2L, the 2nd-year-law student who prostituted herself in order to keep up with her bills and was sexually assaulted by one of her clients.

What's the difference between these two women? Why is the former allowed to pose in magazines, while the latter is repeatedly villified in the press as a whore? We don't know what Michigan 2L looks like because she has chosen to remain anonymous for the sake of her career, and presumably other factors. So what's the difference? Each is using or has used her body, selling sex for the purpose of furthering her education, and yet Michigan 2L fears for her life.

There are a few differences, one being that Michigan 2L was raped and assaulted, and Natalie Dylan has not yet sold herself. Dylan has become a celebrity of sorts, while Michigan 2L has languished in a depression because the police in her town laughed at her and refused to bring rape charges against the client who took such advantage of the fact that their exchange was illegal (a law professor, I might add).

The other difference: Dylan is selling her virginity, Michigan 2L was selling sex. Our society is obsessed with virginity. O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with it. And while sex itself is a dirty, horrible thing that no self-respecting woman should ever allow herself to experience ("unless being forced to by her husband," chimes in Dennis Prager), virginity is something that can be bought and sold... to the extend that buying your own virginity back is becoming its own little psychotically gross little industry.

Dylan is selling a commodity.

Michigan 2L is a whore.

Seems like all a woman is entirely wrapped up in her virginal status. (In which case, I implore my best friend not to consummate her marriage so as to remain a full woman... or something... wait, how does it work again? Why are women bad once they have sex? Biblical "scholars" help me out here.) Which is probably why Jessica Valenti is writing The Virginity Myth as we speak.

The media is playing a huge part here, and I just thought it was interested that no one (that I've read) has pointed out the incredibly obvious bias here. A woman who has sex for the first time for money is permitted to be elevated to celebrity status. Any woman who has sex for money any time other than the first for money is just a whore, and as such deserve no other human consideration.

It's fucking sick.

As I prepare for my application (in the fall) to law school

"Choosing between a kid who has had access to all of that [SAT tutors and a number of other things to which upper and upper-middle class kids have access] and still remains a mediocre candidate and one who has had to create his or her own advantages through self-invention and hard work is not the kind of discrimination we should be worried about. It is, in fact, the kind that allows us to be more fair, not less."

Damn straight.

When I take into account my unlikely journey from a kid who was told by a certain step-mother that she would never amount to anything, and hence never tried at anything (but still got As and Bs in school); to certified Mensa member; to art school graduate, to preparing to take the LSAT in 25 days... I feel more hopeful for my admission to law school.

It's nice to know that personal achievement, rather than that of one's parents still actually means something...