Monday, January 21, 2013

Sometimes it takes a brick (Week 12)

Was an 8... (
I pretty much didn't stop from last Monday (or perhaps the Friday before), until Friday morning. For some reason, a flurry of activities took over, and I felt unable to sit and rest, or even take time to read or work in my workbook. And then I was suddenly hit by a brick on Friday, which continued to get worse even after I went to the doctor yesterday to have my neck adjusted and get some pain meds.

Last night I think I may have netted 5 hours of sleep. From 11pm until 2am, I slept for less than an hour, finally getting up at 2:30 and watching Craig Ferguson until I fell asleep. Of course, after the show ended, I was awake again, and woke up every hour until 6:30 when I decided to listen to Stephanie Miller's inauguration coverage*. I dozed between 6:30 and 8:30, but never deeply enough to accomplish anything like sleep. Since then I may have gotten 40 or so minutes of sleep (maybe?), so I'm kinda out of it today.

Oh yeah, why did I have to go to the doctor? Turns out I have a pinched nerve in my neck, that happened somehow at some point through some possible action or lack of action. I don't actually know.

In other news, though, I may have conquered bingeing. While waiting to get my scrip filled yesterday, I bought binge-type foods (chocolate and chips), because if I was going to be on pain meds, I was also gonna eat junk food**. I haven't even finished off the almond M&Ms I bought. Normally it would all have been gone by the time the Emperor got home from being social, but I didn't even want to play Cthulhu and the Sacred Artifacts and devour each morsel without even tasting it. That's a breakthrough. It's actually a big fucking deal, because not wanting to eat until I made myself sick also means that I didn't want to make myself sick. Granted, I was (and still am) drugged, but I'll take the win where I can get it.

...but now closer to a 4 (on meds).
But through all the stress of the last week or so, I have been taking care of myself. I've been backsliding a little bit emotionally because I've been wracked by anxiety recently; but not to the point where I'm having symptoms. And even on those mornings where what I've been having for breakfast sounds disgusting, I've managed to eat something for breakfast, and hold myself over long enough to figure out something decent for lunch. And I've been eating meat again (YAAAAAAY!). I had tuna for lunch.

So, things are normalizing. I still have quite a bit of my workbook to get through, but I'm not going to stress about it too much***, and just try to be in the moment (even the painful ones). I think even the stress is kind of normal... the pain isn't, but *shrug*...

*Woo! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!
**It's therapeutic.
***I have enough to stress about... yay pinched nerve...

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