Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy 2013! (Recovery, week... uh... Ten!)

Funny thing happened this week: the New York Times, a paper that people actually read published an article about a study of several studies about people being fat. Now, the interesting thing about this study of studies1 is that it concluded that a fat person does not, despite popular belief, suddenly drop dead of a heartabetes as soon as they cross the invisible2 threshold of "clinically obese"3.

I just about fell out of my chair when I read this article, (in bed on my phone), because there is a doctor in that article admitting that the link between weight and mortality is unfounded at best, and completely backwards and stupid otherwise. Can you believe the gall that doctor must have? Telling fat people that it's okay to be fat? That it's probably not even doing them any harm? Or that, *gasp* fat people might actually have a decreased morality rate than "normal weight" people, especially as they get older?

As it turns out, your weight doesn't really have that much of an effect on your health (unless you develop an eating disorder because every fucking person on the planet "just wants you to be healthy" by which they mean "skinny"), and that there are other factors like genetics, and actual fucking science that predict whether a person (regardless of weight) develops high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, foot-in-mouth disease, rickets, chicken pox, rabies, or any other disease that has previously been tied to the fear of fat. 

I've read several articles since the NYT one linked above, and most of them (including the original) make sure to point out, in no uncertain terms that this study is not an excuse to gain weight, because if you do that you won't fit into the cultural ideal of pretty, and you don't want to be ugly, do you? Yeah, fatass, get back on that treadmill, we all know why you're doing it an it ain't for your health.

I think one of my resolutions this year was to be more sarcastic. Anyway, I thought this study and its related articles were very interesting, and I kind of built up a little ire about the reporting and had to say something about it. (I also thought it was an interesting juxtaposition of all the articles, and groups, and exercise programs, etc that my friends were posting on Facebook because they want to be skinny - which is totally their prerogative, I'm not going to shame them for it because I love them at any size.)

Most of the rest of what I have to report for myself this week is... I don't really know. I'm stressed out, but I think I'm getting better at dealing with it in a normal-person way, rather than a person who deals with shit by not eating (or eating until I'm sick). I've had a little body shame, a little food-consuming shame, a few thoughts about how disgustingly fat I am... but mostly not. I'm not feeling as overwhelmed by thoughts of food as I was before, and I even managed to cook up some red beans and rice4. I even think I may have my mojo back... but I'm not 100% sure, since I haven't done anything with it yet, I'm just less terrified of what might happen if I did do something with it.

So, really, starting to get back to normal and getting the ball rolling on my Poverty of Pretty survey (more on that later). I'm sure I'm not cured yet, though, so stay tuned for more drama...

1 what? in November every other word spoken on the teevee was "poll of polls", I can say "study of studies"
2 read: imaginary
3 read in giant, scary voice
4 It was good, although with the beans I used and how long I cooked it, it turned out more like brown beans and rice, but no one who ate it cared what color it was, cuz I don't associate with bean racists.

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