Mary Kay Ash would tell us that she had the most scarred up knees in the room, because she fell down so many times; more than anyone else. She'd shoot for something, miss, fall down, and get back up. And I'll bet she never broke down and hid under her desk crying because she missed it, either. (Actually, she probably did, everyone does that sometimes.) That's the thing though, she failed A LOT. Anyone who achieves anything will probably have a much higher failure rate than a person who didn't achieve. It's called "failing up".
A few years ago, I thought this idea was completely ridiculous. However, as I have matured and begun attempting to achieve things that required more effort than simply showing up, I have begun failing on a fairly regular basis. It can be very upsetting, especially when I put my heart and soul into something (which is not something I have been known to do in the past), and still am not able to achieve it because I didn't see what I was capable of until it was too late to marshal enough resources to complete that task. That's what stings the most, when you can see it, but you realize you neglected to build up the momentum because you refused to believe yourself capable of that level of commitment until it was in sight.
|This guy didn't get it right the first |
But that's the whole motto of my future unit:
Strive for a goal, believing yourself able to achieve it before the evidence appears;
Overcome the obstacles, both those inside your head and outside in your environment;
Achieve the ability to do even better the next time
As I was huddled under my desk this morning, weeping, The Emperor told me I just need to rinse and repeat a few more times. And that's just it, when you miss a goal, all that means is that you need to rinse and repeat a few more times. You are capable of more, you just didn't realize it in time. But when you fall on the way to achieving something you've never done before (because you were willing to put in effort and commitment you never had previously), your belief grows and you instantly become capable of more.
It's the same when you meet a goal: you instantly become capable of more, and no one can take that from you, because as Rebecca Evans taught us this week, the true reward for a job well done is the ability gained to do even better. The most important part of soaring is not achieving the altitude of gliding above the clouds: it's the take-off; it's the trying again when you fall down; it's knowing that you are a creature who is meant to fly and giving it all your heart and soul no matter what else is going on.
You are worthy and good whether you make it or not. You are loved no matter how hard you try. The love and belief that surround you are fires that won't and can't be extinguished. A person's value is not tied to their income or achievements, it is inherent in your being because of what you come from (divinity). If we, you and I, use that as a jumping off point and remind ourselves daily that we have each been shown a dream as a promise from g-d, we may get closer to our goals next time. We will do better tomorrow because of how hard we worked yesterday.
More importantly, you will NEVER be able to coach someone through their own failures if you never fail yourself. "You cannot lead where you do no go; you cannot teach what you do not know."