Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Couple of things: poor Jessica. I know 3 against 1 is the model for conservatives versus liberals on cable, but holy shit, that was hideous. I'm surprised she was able to restrain herself from screaming over the other three women (actually not that surprised, Jessica's teevee persona is pretty even-keel), since they kept talking over her. I mean, how fucking rude is that?
Second, I don't get why the other gal couldn't even look at, let alone directly address Jessica. She was using the John McCain debate technique... I'm surprised no one was called "That One".
Finally, that shit at the end about "what girls do with their bodies have consequences for the rest of their lives"... that's why we should teach about contraception. Duh. And, uh, doesn't what anyone, regardless of gender, do with their bodies have a consequence? Or am I wrong in thinking that boys have to face up to consequences too?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
"A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him -- woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television."
"A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can."
"A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers."
"A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering."
"A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale bosom, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the wrist and the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee."
"Maybe he never has, and maybe he never will, but a man figures he can knock
someone, somewhere, on his bottom."
"He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. Or he can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run..."
"A miter saw, incidentally, is the kind that sits on a table, has a circular blade, and is used for cutting at precise angles. Very satisfying saw."
"Or he stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them."
"A man watches. Sometimes he goes and sits at an auction knowing he won't spend a dime, witnessing the temptation and the maneuvering of others. Sometimes he stands on the street corner watching stuff. This is not about quietude so much as collection. It is not about meditation so much as considering. A man refracts his vision and gains acuity. This serves him in every way. No one taught him this -- to be quiet, to cipher, to watch. In this way, in these moments, the man is like a zoo animal: both captive and free. You cannot take your eyes off a man when he is like that. You shouldn't. Who knows what he is thinking, who he is, or what he will do next."
Monday, April 13, 2009
"Yes, because nothing sells fast food to children better than provocatively-dressed women shaking their asses to a remix of Sir-Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back.""
Friday, April 10, 2009
Dear Mr. Beck,
If it didn't contribute to the suffering of humanity (by virtue of you being human and all - at least I assume that you are), I would. But because it would cause suffering, I won't set you on fire. Lucky for you, most people out there think the way I do on this one... but there might be some who don't, so don't go around asking to be punched in the face.
The word is VAGINA. Say it with me male comedians VA-GIN-A. Not *whistling noise*. You are perfectly capable of saying the word "penis" on cable television, I know this cause you just said it. So, unless you're afraid of them, the word is VAGINA. And if you're afraid of a little VAGINA you need to be in therapy not a comedy club in New York City, especially since you are straight-identified.
RIGHT THERE! You just said "penis" again! And now you're talking about sketching someone's balls, yet instead of saying "vagina" you whistle? What the fuck? You're on Comedy Central, douche nozzle, not fucking Sesame Street.
The worst part is, this guy isn't even funny. I'm just wasting time until the Daily Show is on. I'll be Jon Stewart can say the word "vagina" out loud rather than whistling. That's cause Jon is a real comedian. You know, the kind who is funny.
Oh and the joke about punching Jeff Dunham in the face (cause really, how many ventriloquists are there anymore?) was not funny for two reasons: 1) you are not funny, 2) Jeff Dunham is funny. Even if some of his puppets are assholes.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
There is a reason this woman is my BFF. Her saying that and giving me that encouragement really touched my heart. And I realized, I am so blessed to have the wonderful and supportive friends and family. So, I want to thank those people for all they do for me. You are the key to my success.