A friend of mine recently wrote a status on Facebook bemoaning feelings of brokenness, to which I replied
"One thing I've learned about breaking is that what is really broken is the old way of doing things. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that I wasn't happy with the old ways, so their breaking makes room for new ways. You're not broken, the stuff that isn't working for you is what's broken. It's time to find new tools."Sometime after this exchange, my friend's cousin yoinked this quote and attributed it to me in his own status. A friend of his was touched and decided to share it with her teenaged son. My friend's cousin remarked on how far my wisdom traveled, and I mentioned that, considering what I had gone through to achieve this understanding, I was very glad it was resonating with someone else. At that moment, I realized that my reach is much broader than I had previously though and by that my leadership is much greater than I had previously thought.
Later that day, I felt completely whole. Nothing was remotely different about me or my "life situation" as Master Eckhart would say; I just felt whole. All at once, for no reason, all of my illusions, delusions, vulnerabilities, and issues of pride dropped off and I was whole again, like I haven't been since I was a child. The feeling didn't last very long, but its existence made me feel like I am starting to emerge from the cocoon wherein I've been gestating since September.
Feelings like that are more common now than they have been before, and I realize that it's because I before I was treating myself as broken because my tools didn't work. However, I am not my tools. I am not my body, my mind, my feelings, my desires; any of it. I am the observer of my mind, feelings, desires, and disappointments; the observer living in my body has the ability to change out the broken tools for new ones that do work.
I don't really know what to make of all of this. I mean, I've been sick for the last several days, and I don't really feel like I'm making any progress in my life. Then again, I've accepted the leadership role I have earned in my networking circle and begun using my brilliance for helping my colleagues grow their businesses. This kind of attitude could really benefit me as I keep working my own business, but in the very least I've realized that people are willing to follow me.
That's the thing. Others are not only interested in following me, they are willing. I just have to lead. Pick up my shiny new tools and lead them somewhere.
Let's go gang...