Sunday, March 29, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Check it out. He says:
"Then these people will be called up to testify before Chairman Frank's committee. And they will be asked questions like 'have you attended any pro-capitalist meetings during the course of your tenure at AIG?' 'How many of your friends are free-market capitalists? and what are their names? and where can we find them? and if you fail to answer you will be cited as being in contempt of congress.'"
LIMBAUGH: I'm very serious. You have a company -- let's take AIG out of this 'cause they're so emotionally charged. Let's say that the company being bailed out is the XYZ Widget Company.
LIMBAUGH: We've determined that we need to bail out XYZ Widget. XYZ Widget has people who work there.
LIMBAUGH: We're going to bail XYZ Widget out because we need XYZ Widget to continue operating as an ongoing business.
LIMBAUGH: We need them to manufacture widgets and sell widgets and so forth. So why in the world -- or how do you get to the point where you're going to bail out the company, but you don't want the employees to get paid?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Since 1972, Samuel L. Jackson has been in 127 movies, or 3.4 per year.
William H. Macy has been in 115 movies since 1978. 3.7 movies per year.
Which means that William H. Macy is actually harder working than Samuel L. Jackson, and maintains my claim that Macy, rather than Jackson, has been in every movie ever made.
Check that -- Christopher Lee has been in 264 movies since 1948 (9 of which were Dracula movies -- and 6 of which are coming out in the next two years; we've begun to think that he really is Dracula), which is 4.3 movies per year. Making him the king, even though many of his roles have been kinda gimmicky.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
But the bottom line is, for these people, that masturbation is wrong, porn is wrong, and anything and everything even remotely associated with either of these things is wrong. Morally wrong, and a danger to your relationship because if your partner finds out that you've been masturbating while watching Anderson Cooper, ze is going to think one of twho things:
- OMG! Ur so sikkkkk!!!
- Hey, can I play?
And sex for recreation is also wrong.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
The Crocodile, the Crocodile, the Croc, is reopening.
For those of you who are especially nerdy in your love for the Seattle music scene (like I am), let me say that again.
The Croc, 2200 2nd Ave Seattle 98121, that, when it closed abruptly "in December, 2007, broke many a heart and" made some "folks [feel] a piece of Seattle had died," is being reopened "[a]fter months of renovations and reconstruction", according to its website.
I fear we're never going to get answers as to why the Croc's manager called all the bartenders one Saturday night in December of 2007 and told them not to come in to work the next day; but at least there will be some return to normalcy in the Seattle music scene... even if there aren't that many acts worth hearing these days. (Although, it appears from the Croc's concert calendar, Special Guest is going to be playing a lot of shows in the next couple of months. Ha ha.)
Mymuch-beloved dragon incarnation of my great-grandad, Walt Abplanalp, has begun his once-a-incriment-of-time shedding and has turned gesso-white all over his body.
I'm not sure how long it's going to take for him to grow all his scales back, but I'll be sure to post pictures of his new hide.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen told us the top suggested name was "XENU", but urged the Colbert Nation to do everything within its power to get that node named after Colbert. Why not?
Today, the top suggested name is Colbert, but it's hard to tell how much of the vote the suggested names have, because the percentage tabulation only counts the names that NASA came up with itself -- those Firefly-watching NERDS! Something must be done. Go to the website, click the button for other suggestions and type in "COLBERT". We'll show NASA why Firefly only lasted one season, while Stephen recently did his 500th show!
Aside: Seriously though, I don't get Firefly. I'm the only one of my friends who doesn't own the box set of its single season and has never seen the movie. I don't get it. I don't want it explained to me. I don't want to watch it. It's just like football, okay. I have no interest and the next person who tries to get me to be interested in it is going to have things thrown at them (soft things that won't do any damage, but things nonetheless).
Monday, March 2, 2009
"They found that having a feminist partner was linked to healthier heterosexual relationships for women. Men with feminist partners also reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction. According to these results, feminism does not predict poor romantic relationships, in fact quite the opposite."
"Still, I have to wonder how many of the women identifying as “feminist” in the study were in fact the sort of feminist for whom “pole dancer” is a synonym. What I suggest is not altogether an unlikely scenario, since this species of feminist is, as we know, much more common than the feminist kind of feminist. Feminists who use their empowerfulization to reclaim femininity, you know, for themselves goddammit, would of course enjoy the reinforcingly pleasant side effect of appeasing dudes who are threatened by non-patriarchal gender roles. Which just might account for the male satisfaction with feminism found in the study."
Sunday, March 1, 2009
So, Barack Obama isn't the anti-Christ because he "isn't popular enough". That means only one thing: Oscar Meyer Weiners must be the anti-Christ. Think about it.
If I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with me.
There are only two positions where the love and adoration of all are expected and required: Oscar Meyer Weiner and anti-Christ. Is it not possible that the two could be one single, delicious sign of the End of Days? I mean, Dobson said that the anti-Christ would be a Jewish male. "Meyer" is a Jewish name -- and there certainly isn't anything more male than being a tube of meat and meat by-products. And we've all already been indoctrinated into believing that this tubed meat is not only delicious, but nutritious! How old were you when you learned the song of the anti-Christ? It's too late! Only the vegans, Kosher Jews, and Halal Muslims will survive unscathed!
Seriously though, this "end of the world" "anti-Christ" bullshit is getting really old. Every generation since the beginning of time has thought that it was the last. Get over yourselves. Really. And this guy does not need to be narrating a show about the end of the world. He shouldn't be on the teevee at all.
"One company paid me $25,000 a year to be its national training director, but, in truth, I was acting as the national sales manager - and for a salary much less than the job was worth. Then there were times when I would be asked to take a man out on the road to train him, and after six months be brought back to Dallas, made my superior, and given twice my salary! It happened more than once. What really angered me was when I was told that these men earned more because they had families to support. I had a family to support too. In those days, it seemed that women's brains were worth only fifty cents on the dollar in a male-run corporation. Even more insulting was the way a woman's ideas were rarely respected. I became enraged every time I presented a good marketing plan and was dismissed with "Mary Kay, you're thinking just like a woman." I knew that in my company "thinking like a woman was going to be an asset, not a liability!"
"instead of a tightly closed corporate door bearing the sign "For Men Only", our company has an open portal that bears the invitation "Everyone Welcome - Especially Women."
2. Could you name some of your favourite photographers?
I have done a lot of lucid dreaming, where I can control what happens in the dream. Usually it's because I wake up from a dream I didn't like the ending to and I go back into that dream and redo the ending... like this one dream when I was in the lair of a murderer (it was totally CSI) and he was about to catch me, but I dialed 911 on my cellphone, and got my knife out of my bag and totally killed him (in self-defense, of course).